Kundalini Awakening Timeline Part 1

I formatted this blog a little differently. It is purely informational and to the point. I put together this timeline for those of you that are going through something similar or are unsure of what you are going through. I hope this informational timeline provides valuable material that you are able to relate to.

1 year leading up to my Kundalini Awakening:

-Anxiety continuing to become more uncomfortable and my satisfaction with life beginning to rapidly decline.

-Caffeine sensitivity gradually becoming intolerable. Alcohol started having deleterious effects on the body even in small doses. I remember being really hung over after only 2 beers or less and never feeling ‘buzzed’ like I used to.

-Relationships beginning to fall apart.

-Feeling lost with a deep sense of no purpose and that life was pointless.

-A nagging sense of emptiness and nihilism pervaded my being at all times.

-An ever present fear of people and life kept building.

6 months leading up to my Kundalini Awakening:

-Addiction to marijuana and gambling becoming more problematic and inescapable.

-Mind very scattered and developing an addiction to negative thoughts and irrational fears.

-Looking to external quick fixes to take me away from my sense of unease and inner fears.

-Becoming more afraid of life and others and therefore unable to form real and meaningful connections.

-The relationships I did have were mired in negativity and blame.

-I was becoming more and more isolated and dissatisfied.

3 months leading up to my Kundalini Awakening:

-I was feeling increasingly trapped by my addictions, emotions and thought patterns.

-After unsuccessfully attempting to break my addictions for what felt like the thousandth time I muttered out loud to myself in all sincerity and seriousness, “something serious needs to happen.”

-Two days later I was in the emergency room. Something serious had happened.

-The day before my trip to the emergency room my afternoon was filled with complete euphoria and connectedness. I felt free of anxiety, fear and negative thoughts for the first time since I could remember.

-The next day I woke up in a tsunami of overwhelming anxiety and angst. There was a profusion of agonizing and uncomfortable energy that felt indescribably gross and thick. The energy was taking up every inch of my being. I felt like I was going to drown in it.

-After smoking a joint in a desperate attempt to relieve myself from the intense anxiety and angst I quickly became overwhelmed by explosive and fierce panic like energy. It was like the marijuana had lit the fuse and caused the energy to explode within me instead of alleviating the symptoms.

-The energy began rushing through my body and I felt as if it was swallowing me up. I could barely speak. My throat was unreasonably dry no matter how much water I drank. I couldn’t warm my body up. I was shivering. Walking was very difficult. I was not able to form coherent thoughts. I felt that I might be dying.

-Somehow I managed to drive to the emergency room. Upon walking in I could barely speak to anyone. I could not describe what was happening to me. My brain just wouldn’t work. My throat was still completely dry and I was grinding my teeth without remission. Now I was sure I was going die. Somewhere deep within I knew I was never going to be the same. I’ve never been the same.

-Released from the hospital three hours later I was terrified, confused and broken.

-I was prescribed the Benzo ‘Klonopin.’.

-I moved home and spiraled in to an insanely dark and challenging ‘Dark Night of The Soul.’

-Spent the next three months in a hell realm that is beyond my scope of words to describe in its darkness and hopelessness. I was convinced that it was never going to end. The darkness and hopelessness were perpetually pushing down on me. I was being suffocated by negative emotions, thoughts and energy. 

-A very deep and immovable depression set in. I could barely leave my bed.

-I adopted a victim mentality and contemplated suicide every day. I was functioning at such a low level that I couldn’t even carry out a suicide if I wanted to. My situation was horrifying and was showing no signs of relenting.

-I thought that I had ruined my brain chemistry or biology and that my life was over. I rarely slept and I had to force myself to eat. Some days eating next to nothing or only having a smoothie.

-I was constantly making excuses for my powerlessness. Nothing could be done for me.

-I started having allergic reactions to the Klonopin and had to check in to a detox center to quit it cold turkey. My body was rejecting the poison. This was probably due to the Kundalini already starting to purify my body.

2 days leading up to my Kundalini Awakening:

-I resolved to empower myself and to fight for my life.

-I began a regiment of listening to binaural beats. I had researched that they were a non intrusive way that helped relieve anxiety and depression. I was willing to try anything.

-Used them incessantly for three straight days.

Kundalini Awakening:

-After using them for the last time on the 3rd day an unthinkable amount of energy began rushing through my body.

-My body would pulsate and shake without reprieve for the next 2 weeks and then lessening only a little.

-My body was having a very hard time handling the influx of energy.

-My mind was in a constant state of fear and panic. It could not make logical sense out of what was happening. I deduced that the binaural beats must have created havoc with my brain waves. I was in a constant state of flight or fight.

-I felt I was being re wired by an intruder.

-There was so much energy in my head that I couldn’t read or focus on anything for long at all. I felt like (and was) having a neurological breakdown. At the time I didn’t know it was happening only to be rebuilt. This was terrifying for me because I had always relied on my intellect.

-I remember the energy just vibrating in my skull 24/7 with such intensity and force.

-The pain that the Kundalini was bringing up was extremely intense and unrelenting. It was breaking me.

-At times I slipped in to a state of psychosis. I was very close to checking in to the psych ward or committing suicide countless times.

-I didn’t have the tools or the awareness to surrender. I dug in and kept resisting. The resistance led to increased pain and suffering.

-The energy was more than I could possibly resist. It was annihilating ‘me’.

-I was in a constant state of panic and worry.

-I visited a doctor, a psychologist, a psychiatrist, a neurologist, a psychic, had an MRI, a CATSCAN and went to the emergency room two more times.

2 months after my Kundalini Awakening:

-I read this article ‘phase of release’ and FINALLY surrendered to the energy. OH MY GOD the relief! Something clicked within and I knew my life had changed and that I was on the path to healing and bringing myself to a state of inner balance.

-The next few months were filled with intense purges of fear and dark energy.

-There was constantly fear coursing through my body and obsessive dark thoughts cycling through my mind.

-I continued to open to my fear and to embrace it. I surrendered to all of the darkness that was coming up. I observed my mind in a state of ‘relaxed awareness’ and allowed all of the thoughts to be there without identifying with them or being pulled in by their intense negativity.

-Slowly the intensity of the fear in my body and mind dissolved.

-I went through all sorts of energetic symptoms and mystical phenomena. I never knew what was going to happen within. Every day was completely different. This is still true today.