A New Human (Kundalini Inspired Stream of Consciousness Writing)

Life right now is all about cleaning out my conduit. It has become quite mucked up via karmic connections that I've been destined to experience and grow from. Although the side of effect of a muddy ish conduit has not been a pleasant experience. Hearing my mind constantly telling me that 'this isn't our fear, we are carrying someone else's terror' has been a theme during my meditations. Then my higher self sweeps in to tell me I wouldn't be carrying it if I wasn't a match for it somehow. The vibrations and geometry of existence never lie, never distort, they are always pure perfection, so no matter what you are experiencing within, its yours in the greater context of this unfolding we call awakening and life.

So for now I have been spending most of my time Presencing the ever loving heck out of everything within me that is not in congruence with Beingness. Beingness is the ultimate destination of this kundalini/awakening path. It is really the only place to go. And Beingness is truly only found in the Now (I suppose those terms are interchangeable in some ways) but really this path is about finally coming to a deep rest within, so my work has been to guide everything within me into a deep rest, and then when I am fortunate enough or lucky enough I attempt to help others do the same thing. We aren't seeking anything that isn't already within us, that's sort of the cosmic joke – and its a joke because we have been so conditioned away from the treasures and heaven realms within us – we have been programmed to seek these illusive treasures and states of consciousness in the external – but in the external all we find are fleeting highs that get a bit less satisfying over time (and eventually a lot less satisfying – if we are lucky that is, because when the external highs no longer quench our insatiable desire for more we must look within)

And so cultivating an inward facing mind is where we end up. Shri Anandamayi Ma talks at great length about how developing an inward facing mind through prayer, devotion and spiritual practice is the only way to True and lasting Peace. However the great momentum of our outward seeking must come to a standstill for us to be ripe enough to consider a different path to everlasting fulfillment. The conditioning runs deep, the seeking seems to have no end at times, and our shorter and shorter attention spans only aid to reinforce the painstaking and depleting patterns of attempting to find what only exists within us outside of ourselves.

That was a bit rambly, but this is a first take flow of consciousness blog post so deal with it ;)

This is the Holy Fire of kundalini, feeling the chase come to an end and resting in Being. The fire is feeling our conditioning and lack based programming burn up in the Mother's Light as we surrender our desire to complete ourself with another, with success, with external validation, with money with achievement with sex ect ect ect because something within us has come to realize enough that it just doesn't work, nor will it ever. And parts of us must mourn this sad fact, because they were so convinced if only we got the right partner we would be happy ect... so an identity must fall... the identity that perpetually feels incomplete and filled with lack – and as much as that might sound like something we would want, it actually comes with a huge price – we must let go of the known and surrender who we thought we were, who we were told we were, we must surrender the desire to be like everyone else, the desire to fit in, the desire to be what our culture tells us to be.

We must STOP. And stopping is terrifying to these identities because the constant doing is what keeps them afloat and alive. So the fire of just Being comes in and burns your old life to the ground. And you realize it wasn't much of an old life because it was built on a lie. A lie your parents fed you, your society fed you your teachers ect... just become this and you'll be happy, just find the right person and youll be fulfilled, just make x $ and you will be able to finally relax.... all lies,,, maybe create a life with enough pleasure and as little pain as possible and you will be happy.... no one ever tells you that your happiness is in the center of your pain... no one ever tells you that every energetic shape, emotion and sensation are all equally everything you could ever dream of wanting.

No we are taught to avoid whats within and stop wasting time and hurry up and become somebody or something,,,, over looking the miracle that you already are – because miracles don't exist in the fabricated reality of ego and ego mind constructs.... many of which are rooted in fear and a sense of we must do and be more (which is just instilling fear in the minds of innocent beings) lol!! Innocent! We are all innocent at our core even the most seeming 'evil' is innocent. And actually the whole thing eventually becomes hilarious when it is seen for what it is, because you see its just a bunch of wounded children running around trying to find wholeness love and validation outside of themselves.

And if the whole world would just stop and realize this then we could all melt into a divine union of harmony (of course this would take lots of work and its actually the work that is happening now within each of us – the Earth is bringing it about in Her special and powerful ways) and so if we all stopped and realized what we were actually seeking, if we were all truly honest with ourselves we would start treating each other much better, we would strive to end division at all costs because we would realize that being in separation is the root of all suffering and harm we do to one another. Of course this wouldn't negate our individual natures and having different perspectives and ideas opinions ect... it would just birth a new way for humans to relate with one another, we would and we actually are birthing a new relational field based in compassion, mutual understanding, honesty, authenticity and healthy boundaries.

We are genuinely becoming a new race, a new species where its not about your gender, the color of your skin, sexuality ectt... highlighting those just divides even further... however we can enjoy and appreciate our differences :)

Okay that's the ramble for today – I just really felt the pull to write something and then post it :) Much love