The Earth Is Waking Up Inside Of Me
I felt as if I was being swallowed up by the cold, dense Earth.
I couldn’t believe what was happening. Just hours prior I was existing in a heavenly realm of consciousness. Suddenly, the bliss and euphoria spiraling in my heart center was transformed into an uncomfortable concrete and dense cold sensation throughout my entire body.
The mind’s first impulse was alarm. The darkness that came surging forth as Gaia was pulling me deep into her rock filled interior was chilling. The depth of the darkness had me temporarily staggered. What was this? How had this transpired? Did I do something wrong? Have I been ‘Earthing’ too much? LOL!
These are the thoughts that surface when our once sublime and blissful states of consciousness have descended into a lower realm that we recognize but don’t totally experience in the same way every time. I decided to sit with this darkness. As I was meditating I felt all of the spiritual energy pulling down into my feet. Mother Gaia had me and she wasn’t letting go. She still hasn’t.
As I was submerging into the base and violent darkness I had the taste of concrete in my mouth. I had been praying for guidance to ground the descent of Grace that has flooded into my being. Prayers answered. Now I was feeling a little ‘too grounded.’
The mind once again generates thoughts of ‘what have you done?’ And in this moment, I realized that 'I’ haven’t done anything. This has all been decided for ‘me’ for the human self that Spirit has temporarily decided to occupy in form. Our human is being asked to surrender to this experience.
Heaven and Earth have come into this body and mind and Heaven and Earth will decide what becomes of it. ‘I’ am just a servant of the will of the forces that have brought this all into existence. How long will I stay identified with this ‘I’? As long as God and Mother Gaia need me to.
A deep connection with Gaia has been restored. I now feel a steward and lover of her aliveness. She is in me. I am in her. It is a divine connection that has been brought about by the heavens.
Initially my connection to Gaia brought me into a state of supreme bliss, I was in the throes of divinity, heaven and earth merging as One, as intended by God.
And then, by design, Gaia took hold of me, it is her turn to have her way with me, to fully integrate my darkness so that I may serve the light while living here on Earth. This path is not about transcending our humanity, it is about evolving our humanity into the Divine.
When we reconnect with Gaia a depression will set in. A darkness will pull you down, down, down. It is essential for us to heal all the pain and trauma stemming from generations of human violence and abuse towards one another and the Earth Herself. The root and sacral chakra will be purified in this process. My awakening was a top down awakening. I had a flood of grace descend into me.
I am feeling the pressure once more at the bottom of my spine as I lay in bed and wait for the Kundalini to surge upwards and out of my crown chakra. The energy channels have been cleared for such a manifestation and the spinal sweep that awaits may be magnificent, or it may send me to the brink.
Either way, it will all be done without my resistance. I am fully taken by this force of life and creation.
I have preferences and desires but when faced with the immense power of heaven and earth I don’t exist at all.
This is what the kundalini reminds us time and time again; that we don’t actually exist in the way that we think we do. We are but not even a fragment in the whole of creation, and simultaneously as we let go of thinking that we exist, we become the whole of creation and we transcend existing altogether.
How to live? How to stay centered through the transformation(s) that we find ourselves going through? Why do we need a center? Who needs a center? Does this aspect that needs a center exist beyond your thoughts of it? This is the grand surrender Light Beings. We are not here to channel this energy through the egoic structure that we inherited for any type of personal gain. We channel the kundalini through the egoic structure to serve the energies purpose, which is no different than Divine Will.
The kundalini will keep asking, “Will you open?” Will you open to the divine? Will you allow the kundalini to live through you as you? Will you surrender your egoic desires to serve Her? If you find yourself resisting surrendering to something higher, ask yourself and then what? You get all of your egoic desires satisfied, and then what? It is a circle. A never-ending circle.
When we open to the divine, when we ask the divine to act through us, to speak through us and to use the body and the mind as vessels for the divine’s love, peace, joy and wisdom to flow through, we drive our energy straight towards the light with a fervency never felt before. How many times must we take the mundane circle until we decide enough is enough and surrender our earthly desires so that we may go soaring into the light? Leave it all behind! What has it gotten you to this point?!
Feel the divinity within you. Feel it waking up in you as you as you open with humility to God. Feel into your heart. Feel the goodness inside of it. Melt into your heart. Love yourself and open to your divinity. Serve yourself by serving others.
This path is simple. Surrender to something greater, love yourself, do what you love, give your gifts to life and keep opening to more and more grace. Invite grace to flood into your being. We find out what we love and what gifts we have to give by learning to love ourselves. And the thing is, you can’t love yourself through your egoic nature. You must connect with something greater to truly experience self-love.
